


our cities never sleep

by satellites (brella)



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Background Conner/M'gann - Freeform, Background Relationships, Background Wally/Artemis - Freeform, Canon Compliant, Epistolary, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 07:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brella/pseuds/satellites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>August 28, 2010 5:16 AM<br/>from: Wally</p><p>waffles oh god i want waffles</p><p>—</p><p>August 28, 2010 5:17 AM<br/>from: Supey</p><p>So make some.</p><p>—</p><p>August 28, 2010 5:46 AM<br/>from: Wally</p><p>well now the kitchen is on fire</p>
            </blockquote>





	our cities never sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops.  
> The dates in this are very important and specific, as are the times, so try to keep an eye on those. Hopefully the chronology is intuitive!!

_July 30, 2010 5:06 PM_  
_from: UNKNOWN NUMBER_

> _ksjghdfhkgfhkhgsgjg!!?@^%_

_July 30, 2010 5:08 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _hello youve reached the police_

_July 30, 2010 5:12 PM_  
_from: UNKNOWN NUMBER_

> _kgsgfkagfajfddd w rh t_

_July 30, 2010 5:13 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _jk its the hospital & youre having an aneurysm, congrats_

_July 30, 2010 5:14 PM_  
_from: UNKNOWN NUMBER_

> _I do not know how to use this phone. This phone that Batman gave me. It’s making me mad._

_July 30, 2010 5:15 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _oh yo supey. dont scare me like that i might actually be the hospital next time_

_July 30, 2010 5:17 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _what was up with the keysmashing dude are u ragin it up ALREADY??_

_July 30, 2010 5:18 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I am very confused. >:(_

_July 30, 2010 5:19 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _so u dont know how to type normally but u already know emotes ok_

_July 30, 2010 5:20 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _My hand is teaching me._

_July 30, 2010 5:21 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _your what_

_July 30, 2010 5:25 PM_  
_from: Green Cheeks_

> _Hello Wally! Superboy has broken his phone because it wrongly autocorrected his spelling of my name. We’re working on getting this fixed as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience!! <3_

_July 30, 2010 5:25 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _babe u can fix me anytime_

_July 30, 2010 5:26 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _that was supposed to be hot it wasnt supposed to sound like i was asking u to neuter me_

_July 30, 2010 5:27 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _ok actually i was never here_

* * *

_August 3, 2010 1:02 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _There was a dog in the street today. I wanted it._

_August 3, 2010 1:03 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _then lets go dognappin dude. this summer vacation isnt gonna last forever. LIVE FAST DIE YOUNG_

_August 3, 2010 1:04 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _jfgjhfdjkhsgfkjaksjhgskqrue_

_August 3, 2010 1:05 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I mean, “no.”_

* * *

_August 8, 2010 8:03 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I hope you have an okay day at school, or whatever._

_August 8, 8:05 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _im gonna die slowly & no one can save me but props for trying buddy_

* * *

_August 8, 12:23 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _the water fountain assaulted me & now it looks like i peed myself_

_August 8, 12:24 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Did you pee yourself?_

_August 8, 12:24 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _NO?!_

* * *

_August 9, 2010 1:03 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HA (part 1)_

> _TE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I H (part 2)_

> _ATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I ATE HER!!!!!!!_

_August 9, 2010 1:04 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _HATE*_

_August 9, 2010 1:05 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _She just left. Don’t be a jerk._

_August 9, 2010 1:23 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i hate her_

_August 9, 2010 1:24 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _No, you don’t._

_August 9, 2010 1:57 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _nah_

* * *

_August 10, 2010 1:43 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _M’gann wants to go down to the beach before we start school. Do you want to come?_

_August 10, 2010 2:38 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _well i just got out of the principal’s office with my phone for trying to text u back while i was in class so if that doesnt answer your question then idk :|_

_August 10, 2010 2:39 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _:| :| :| :| :| :|_

_August 10, 2010 3:01 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _She buried me in sand and named it Mount Superboy._

_August 10, 2010 3:02 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _probably b/c she wanted to mount u_

_August 10, 2010 3:03 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _What??_

_August 10, 2010 3:03 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _what_

_August 10, 2010 3:08 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _a poodle just walked by do u want me to grab it_

* * *

_August 20, 2010 4:01 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I don’t know what to do now without my boots._

_August 20, 2010 4:03 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _hi superboy. this is artemis. wally’s having some kind of existential crisis or something so he can’t text you right now._

_August 20, 2010 4:04 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _How did you unlock his phone?_

_August 20, 2010 4:05 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _the password was boob; it wasn’t hard. i’ll talk to you later._

_August 20, 2010 4:06 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I want my boots. >:(_

_August 20, 2010 5:13 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _dont u have like 50 pairs of those dude i mean_

_August 20, 2010 5:16 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Yeah, but. These ones were special._

_August 20, 2010 5:17 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _and now theyre dead. get used to it._

_August 20, 2010 5:18 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Are you upset about Nelson?_

_August 20, 2010 5:30 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _gnight supes_

* * *

_August 21, 2010 5:01 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _That was a good funeral service. I liked your speech._

_August 21, 2010 5:03 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _thanks_

_August 21, 2010 5:06 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _i justhagfjagfkajkwhkwkqj123AQQWERZ_

_August 21, 2010 5:13 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _…thanks_

* * *

_August 27, 2010 10:28 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _so whatd you do with your downtime?_

_August 27, 2010 10:31 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _M’gann spilled eggs on me and then we stared at each other for a while until Red Tornado came in._

_August 27, 2010 10:34 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _thats… well uh ok i just kinda ate ice cream but good on you_

_August 27, 2010 10:35 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Since when did you start spelling out “you?”_

_August 27, 2010 10:36 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _u dont know me u dont know my life_

_August 27, 2010 10:37 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _but the life you dont know may or may not involve artemis i mean oh my god every time i abbrev something its like shes gonna have me drawn & quartered_

_August 27, 2010 10:38 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _why did i ever give her my number_

_August 27, 2010 10:40 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Because she asked for it?_

_August 27, 2010 10:41 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _[emoji of a thumbs-down] irrelevant_

* * *

_August 28, 2010 5:16 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _waffles oh god i want waffles_

_August 28, 2010 5:17 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _So make some._

_August 28, 2010 5:46 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _well now the kitchen is on fire_

_August 28, 2010 5:48 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i regret my decision to listen to you_

_August 28, 2010 5:59 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Please let me sleep. Magic. Magic magic magic. Magic is real. Magic._

_August 28, 2010 6:03 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _[emoji of a hissing cat]_

* * *

_August 29, 2010 12:01 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _now i am in jail for waffle arson_

_August 29, 2010 12:04 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _waffle jail_

_August 29, 2010 12:06 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _forever lolin @ waffle jail_

_August 29, 2010 12:19 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i am hungry :(_

* * *

_September 5, 2010 9:30 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _im never watching aladdin again_

_September 5, 2010 9:31 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _did you find your shirt yet??_

_September 5, 2010 9:34 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _No. I think I left it in Bialya. Maybe we should go back._

_September 5, 2010 9:35 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _if you love something then let it go_

_September 5, 2010 10:43 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I don’t love my shirt; I just WANT IT BACKSKFGHSLGHSHG!!!!_

* * *

_September 6, 2010 1:28 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _so youre in atlantis right now so im gonna give you something nice to come home to_

_September 6, 2010 1:29 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _WHOOOOAAAA OH WE’RE HALFWAY THEEERE_

_September 6, 2010 1:30 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _WHOOOOOAH OHH LIVIN ON A PRAAAAYER_

_September 6, 2010 1:31 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _TAKE MY HAND AND WE’LL MAKE IT I SWEEEAR_

_September 6, 2010 1:31 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _WHOOOOAAA OH LIVIN ON A PRAAAYER_

* * *

_September 7, 2010 6:30 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _good morning sunshine, have a good day at school and dont forget to brush your teeth_

_September 7, 2010 6:32 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I’m nervous._

_September 7, 2010 6:32 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _dude dont be. schools gonna be great for you._

_September 7, 2010 6:33 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I thought you hated school._

_September 7, 2010 6:34 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _well im a loser. so of course im not gonna enjoy the social experience. but youre a big guy and youre all tall dark and brooding so youll be fine. just dont kill anyone._

_September 7, 2010 6:35 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _But just last week you said you’re the universe’s gift to everyone you meet. Why are you saying you’re a loser?_

_September 7, 2010 6:45 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _My name’s Conner now._

_September 7, 2010 6:46 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _??_

_September 7, 2010 6:47 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I needed a secret identity, I guess. So I’m Conner now. Conner Kent. Will you please stop calling me Supey now?_

_September 7, 2010 6:50 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _cool, and no_

* * *

_September 7, 2010 12:42 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _TAAAAAKE ONNNN MEEEEEE_

_September 7, 2010 12:44 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _TAAAAAKE MEEEEE ONNNNN_

_September 7, 2010 12:45 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _I’LLLLL BEEEEE GONNNNEEEE_

_September 7, 2010 12:45 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _IN A DAAAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

* * *

_September 7, 2010 3:00 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _so how was it??_

_September 7, 2010 3:03 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _It was fine. M’gann is a cheerleader now._

_September 7, 2010 3:04 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _aw yiss_

_September 7, 2010 3:05 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _We learned about Rhelasians being idiots, and then I broke some bleachers, and I made a guy mad, so I think we’re going to be friends._

_September 7, 2010 3:06 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _sounds exciting. whatd you do to make the guy mad?_

_September 7, 2010 3:06 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I don’t know. I picked up some skinny kid by the collar and demanded to know why he had a superhero logo on his shirt. He was kind of a wimp._

_September 7, 2010 3:07 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _wow. youre already on a great freaking track, supey._

_September 7, 2010 3:07 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Are you mad?_

* * *

_September 7, 2010 4:14 PM_  
_from: Superboy_

> _Is Wally mad at me?_

_September 7, 2010 4:15 PM_  
_from: Artemis_

> _why are you asking me? i’m not his keeper._

* * *

_September 7, 2010 4:17 PM_  
_from: Soups_

> _Is Wally mad at me?_

_September 7, 2010 4:18 PM_  
_from: Soups_

> _Whyjsdfhgfj is myUIEUT phone wallp aper a pi c ture of a m oNKey?1?!?!?!?@E_

_September 7, 2010 4:20 PM_  
_from: Robin_

> _hehehehehehehehe_

* * *

_September 7, 2010 4:25 PM_  
_from: Conner_

> _Wally’s mad at me and now my phone has been hacked by monkeys._

_September 7, 2010 4:25 PM_  
_from: M’gann_

> _Why is Wally mad at you?_

_September 7, 2010 4:26 PM_  
_from: Conner_

> _I don’t know. I told him about Marvin and he stopped texting me back._

_September 7, 2010 4:27 PM_  
_from: M’gann_

> _Oh… Maybe Marvin reminded him of himself. And maybe he was upset because he doesn’t want you to turn into a bully._

_September 7, 2010 4:28 PM_  
_from: Conner_

> _But I’m not a bully._

_September 7, 2010 4:29 PM_  
_from: M’gann_

> _Okay – can we talk about this over mind link? It might be easier._

_September 7, 2010 4:30 PM_  
_from: Conner_

> _Yeah._

* * *

_September 10, 2010 1:58 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _ITS GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM YOOOOUUUU_

_September 10, 2010 1:59 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _THERES NOTHING THAT A HUNDRED MEN OR MORE COULD EVER DOOOOOO_

_September 10, 2010 2:00 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AAAAAFRICAAAAAAAA_

_September 10, 2010 2:01 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _have i gotten you in trouble yet from phone rings_

_September 10, 2010 2:03 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Yes. :|_

_September 10, 2010 2:05 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i am the best bro its me_

* * *

_September 14, 2010 7:42 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _youre going undercover dude? HARD. CORE._

_September 14, 2010 7:43 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I have to dye my hair._

_September 14, 2010 8:03 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I have dyed my hair._

_September 14, 2010 8:05 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _pics or it didnt happen_

_September 14, 2010 8:06 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _[NEW PHOTO]_

_September 14, 2010 8:08 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _oh my ***ing god_

_September 14, 2010 8:08 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _jeez i hate the censor plan my parents put on here_

_September 14, 2010 8:11 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _BUT HAHAHAHA_

_September 14, 2010 8:15 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Shut up. >:(_

_September 14, 2010 8:18 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i may or may not need approx 15 more mins to laugh my *** off so please hold_

_September 14, 2010 8:20 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _:|_

* * *

_September 22, 2010 3:26 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I thought I heard noises outside the Cave. Like somebody trying to get in._

_September 22, 2010 3:27 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _well one time i thought i heard beyonce outside my window and we all know how that turned out_

* * *

_September 24, 2010 1:03 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _hows wolf doing?_

_September 24, 2010 1:06 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _He likes it here. He tried to jump on top of the fridge earlier. I think he thinks he’s a cat._

_September 24, 2010 1:07 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _And now he’s eating Oreos. I didn’t know we had Oreos._

_September 24, 2010 1:08 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _WHAT YOUR STUPID DOG IS EATING MY SNACKAGE STASH WOW UNCOOL_

_September 24, 2010 1:10 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I told him he was being uncool. He didn’t stop._

_September 24, 2010 1:11 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i never cry but_

* * *

_September 27, 2010 4:03 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _so are you really gonna go to the movies with artemis?_

_September 27, 2010 4:05 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Are you really in love with M’gann?_

* * *

_November 5, 2010 8:35 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _How’s it going?_

_November 5, 2010 8:37 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _ok. bonding with a little sippy cup guy. megs went out to scan the streets one more time. artemis and me back at the gym w/ the kids._

_November 5, 2010 8:42 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Coming back with another five._

_November 5, 2010 8:43 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _artemis is singing again if you find me dead with my ears bleeding you know who to blame_

_November 5, 2010 9:06 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I just met up with M’gann. We’re on our way back now._

_November 5, 2010 9:07 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _my ears are not bleeding yet but i think sippy cup guy just got lost in artemis’s hair initiating rescue mission_

_November 5, 2010 9:08 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _supey help theyre adorable_

* * *

_November 7, 2010 4:06 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _How’s Zatanna?_

_November 7, 2010 4:08 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i cant talk right now dude, im keeping her company_

_November 7, 2010 4:09 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Okay._

* * *

_November 11, 2010 11:26 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _so youll text me every day about squirrels who eat food out of your hand but you cant be persuaded to mention that you and megs have been dating_

_November 11, 2010 11:27 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Should I have? Sorry._

_November 11, 2010 11:39 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _nah its cool dude._

_November 11, 2010 11:55 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I love her. Is that okay?_

_November 11, 2010 11:58 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _totally okay. ya big blockhead._

_November 11, 2010 11:59 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Happy birthday._

_November 12, 2010 12:00 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _thanks supey._

* * *

_November 14, 2010 3:04 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _kfsgkhjfKHJajkhfhjshjJHSDHhj_

_November 14, 2010 3:06 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _ok based on my interpretation skills you are either hungry or dying_

_November 14, 2010 3:07 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Actually I just wanted to talk to you but I didn’t know what to say._

_November 14, 2010 3:08 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _jfhahglahjfjsdk_

_November 14, 2010 3:09 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _qjehagfzkshr_

_November 14, 2010 3:11 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _bnagfkrthagfgt_

_November 14, 2010 3:12 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _zxhajfgakyegt_

_November 14, 2010 3:12 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _8lghagfu265q%hgabf_

_November 14, 2010 3:13 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _kshgakghalghrm,hbv_

_November 14, 2010 3:14 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _how dare you_

* * *

_November 24, 2010 2:16 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _hey dude. when i said bald mgann was still hot i wasnt trying to like. be an ***._

_November 24, 2010 2:17 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _CLAM IT_

_November 24, 2010 2:18 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _It’s okay. She’s beautiful. I understand. :)_

_November 24, 2010 2:19 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _can you feeeel the looove toniiiiight_

_November 24, 2010 2:20 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _THATMOVI E HAD AMGONKEY IN ITT_

_November 24, 2010 2:25 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _ooh yeah feelin the love_

* * *

_November 25, 2010 6:03 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _dude where ARE you? megs has been texting me off the hook, shes worried_

_November 25, 2010 6:07 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i swear if i have to abandon thanksgiving dinner to come look for you_

_November 25, 2010 8:32 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _supey, seriously, where the hell are you?_

>   
>  _[5 MISSED CALLS FROM WALLY: 8:43 PM_  
>  _, 9:38 PM_  
>  _, 10:06 PM_  
>  _, 10:42 PM_  
>  _, 11:00 PM_  
>  _]_  
> 

 

_November 25, 2010 11:03 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I’m okay._

_November 25, 2010 11:03 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _screw you. apologize to megs or im coming over there. jeez supey. not cool. not cool._

_November 25, 2010 11:32 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Happy Thanksgiving._

* * *

_December 1, 2010 5:34 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Did you seriously try to hire a pony for Robin’s birthday?_

_December 1, 2010 5:34 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _uh noooooooo_

_December 1, 2010 7:04 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _you and megs have been in the bathroom for like half an hour what the heck_

> _[PHONE POWERING OFF]_

 

* * *

_December 6, 2010 4:08 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Why were you being a jerk to Artemis again?_

_December 6, 2010 4:09 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _what do you mean again and i wasnt and i don’t want to talk about it_

_December 6, 2010 4:10 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I thought you guys were starting to get along._

_December 6, 2010 4:11 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _nope lies leave me alone_

_December 6, 2010 4:12 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _You’re a real moron, you know that?_

_December 6, 2010 4:13 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _that is slander and i can sue you_

_December 6, 2010 4:14 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Wally, come on._

_December 6, 2010 4:15 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _look its complicated okay? i just. **** i thought she was different than she is but shes not and she doesnt care what i think or feel so why should i care what she thinks or feels yknow?_

_December 6, 2010 4:16 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I think she cares. She’s just scared about some things._

_December 6, 2010 4:17 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _like what, not being terrible??_

_December 6, 2010 4:18 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _If you’ve already decided on what you think, then why are you still talking to me?_

_December 6, 2010 4:20 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _because i dont know if im in the wrong or she is and i dont know if i want to apologize or if i even should and we were doing okay but then she just screwed it and screwed me and i am REALLY HUNGRY RIGHT NOW_

_December 6, 2010 4:21 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _She screwed you??!_

_December 6, 2010 4:22 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _not for real screwing!! like bad angry screwing – or. oh my god i am never teaching you euphemisms again you dope leave me alone_

* * *

_December 7, 2010 12:04 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _day one: have not forgiven artemis yet_

_December 7, 2010 12:05 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Go away._

* * *

_December 10, 2010 1:42 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _you wanna do some christmas shopping today?_

_December 10, 2010 1:43 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Yes please._

_December 10, 2010 1:44 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _sweet, i’ll be at the cave in five_

_December 10, 2010 2:56 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _where are you_

_December 10, 2010 2:57 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _supey seriously im going to go to mall security if you dont answer me_

_December 10, 2010 3:00 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _the mall cops will be coming for you and i will laugh_

_December 10, 2010 3:01 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _FOR PETES SAKE WHERE ARE YOU_

_December 10, 2010 3:31 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i am utilizing this text message to immortalize the day you got lost in a victorias secret_

_December 10, 2010 3:32 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _You’re the one who abandoned me when you got distracted by the food court._

_December 10, 2010 3:35 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _youre the one who abandoned ME when you got distracted by LADIES BRAS_

_December 10, 2010 3:36 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i still think you shouldve gotten the lacy blue one for megs_

_December 10, 2010 3:37 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Don’t make me break your neck. :|_

_December 10, 2010 3:38 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _you cant do that its christmas_

_December 10, 2010 3:39 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _It’s December 10th._

* * *

_December 17, 2010 7:14 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _kaldurs hanging up mistletoe in the showers send backup_

_December 17, 2010 7:18 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _what part of “backup” includes artemis_

* * *

_December 23, 2010 2:05 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _what time is it over there_

_December 23, 2010 2:06 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Time for me to be sleeping and for you to be shutting up. How did you even find out?_

_December 23, 2010 2:07 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _detective skills tbh. i taught rob everything he knows._

_December 23, 2010 2:08 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _hey do me a favor will you? keep an eye on him. not suspiciously but just – make sure hes okay._

_December 23, 2010 2:09 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Okay._

* * *

_December 25, 2010 12:00 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW SPHERE_

_December 25, 2010 12:04 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I had to get my phone back from the other side of the room after I threw it there. Please warn me the next time you’re going to text me._

_December 25, 2010 12:05 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _wow ok scrooge. warning: holiday cheer incoming. this text message is to prepare you for a second text message. L O G I C._

* * *

_December 25, 2010 3:45 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _FJGJHDASSKLJGFJHKAGHBEWHRGHDN BFDSH I’LL KILL YOU_

_December 25, 2010 3:46 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _merry christmas and please enjoy your exclusive animal planet “majestic monkeys” 6-disc special edition dvd set b/c i may or may not have had to commit murder to get it_

_December 25, 2010 4:00 PM_  
_from: Green Cheeks_

> _Wally! Conner is crying in the bathroom and he told me it’s your fault. What did you do to him? :(_

_December 25, 2010 4:01 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _made his dreams come true_

* * *

_December 26, 2010 8:19 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _why was my present from you a cardboard box filled with dry macaroni_

_December 26, 2010 8:20 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _It represents our friendship._

_December 26, 2010 8:21 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _……………..k_

* * *

_January 1, 2011 2:05 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _did i actually kiss artemis or was it a fever dreAM_

_January 1, 2011 2:06 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _You definitely did. But we were confused because it sounded like you guys were just drinking Slurpees. They made me look to confirm. :|_

_January 1, 2011 2:07 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _she was so much better than a slurpee and also shut up i am NEW AT THIS_

_January 1, 2011 2:08 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _but theres no one id rather have as a witness to my new years kiss with artemis than you_

_January 1, 2011 2:09 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I can think of at least ten other people who I’d rather have chosen for the job._

_January 1, 2011 2:10 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _shes texting me dude shes texting me what do i do_

_January 1, 2011 2:11 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Answer her?_

_January 1, 2011 2:12 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _but what if shes saying its a mistake what if she changes her mind oh my god what if shes mad at me for kissing her like a slurpee?!!! i cant handle this kind of stress im moving to alaska_

_January 1, 2011 2:13 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I thought you were scared of mooses. Doesn’t Alaska have mooses?_

_January 1, 2011 2:14 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _shut your mouth i told you to never bring that up_

_January 1, 2011 2:15 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _If you don’t text Artemis back, I’m telling her that you’re scared of mooses._

_January 1, 2011 2:16 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _when did you turn into a supervillain_

_January 1, 2011 2:25 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _she says she wants to go see a movie this weekend what do i say_

_January 1, 2011 2:26 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Why are you asking me? I thought you said you were a pro with girls._

_January 1, 2011 2:27 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i was actually lying_

_January 1, 2011 2:27 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _and i am kind of freaking out_

_January 1, 2011 2:28 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _because this is for real it’s not a GIRL it’s ARTEMIS so please please con please help me you have a girlfriend you know this stuff_

_January 1, 2011 2:29 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Do you want to go see a movie with her?_

_January 1, 2011 2:30 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _yes duh_

_January 1, 2011 2:31 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Then say yes._

_January 1, 2011 2:33 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _she said “cool” and your services are no longer required :DD_

_January 1, 2011 2:34 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _…Yay?_

* * *

_July 4, 2011 9:10 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _happy anniversary buddy_

_July 4, 2011 9:12 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _:)_

* * *

_July 28, 2011 9:46 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _kakjhghjdhjgfhagqzmggagfjsg_

_July 28, 2011 9:47 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _supey we talked about the keyboard. slow and steady._

_July 28, 2011 9:49 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I think I am about to take it slow and steady with my hand._

_July 28, 2011 9:49 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _M’GANN** STUPID AUTOCORRECTSKGGAJRGEFQV_

_July 28, 2011 9:50 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _lol_

_July 28, 2011 9:50 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _wait what_

_July 28, 2011 9:51 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I told her I had to go to the bathroom. I am hiding in here._

_July 28, 2011 9:51 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _well i mean. are you ready? do you want to do this?_

_July 28, 2011 9:52 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Yes. A lot. But I don’t know what to do. I just want it to be nice._

_July 28, 2011 9:52 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _con, so long as you two are comfortable with it and talk through it, youll be fine._

_July 28, 2011 9:53 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i mean im not an expert but i can tell you guys are all in love and stuff so just take a deep breath and dont rush it and itll be okay. okay?_

_July 28, 2011 9:54 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Okay. Thank you. I’m going back out._

_July 28, 2011 9:55 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _if she throws you out of the cave you are welcome at my place_

_July 28, 2011 9:56 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _bring chips_

* * *

_August 6, 2011 11:52 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _shoot supey i think i might be in love_

_August 6, 2011 11:53 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Why are you telling me?_

_August 6, 2011 11:54 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i dunno. i feel like youre the only one whod understand._

_August 6, 2011 11:55 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Well. Congratulations._

_August 6, 2011 11:56 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _thanks man i feel like im growing_

_August 6, 2011 11:57 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _You are._

_August 6, 2011 11:58 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _oh man beyonce just came on the tv i think im in love_

_August 6, 2011 11:59 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I retract my earlier statement._

* * *

_September 1, 2011 9:58 PM_  
_from: Artemis_

> _m’gann, are you around?_

_September 1, 2011 9:58 PM_  
_from: M’gann_

> _Yes! Hi! What’s up?_

_September 1, 2011 9:59 PM_  
_from: Artemis_

> _i need somebody to confirm for me that boys are fucking idiots._

_September 1, 2011 10:00 PM_  
_from: M’gann_

> _They are. I hate boys, but I love them anyway. C:_

_September 1, 2011 10:01 PM_  
_from: Artemis_

> _…that may or may not be the wisest thing you’ve ever said._

_September 1, 2011 10:02 PM_  
_from: M’gann_

> _< 3_

* * *

_August 28, 2013 6:42 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _We miss you around here already._

_August 28, 2013 6:43 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _my roomie is a saganist. im pleased._

_August 28, 2013 6:44 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _…I really hope that wasn’t a typo of “satanist.”_

_August 28, 2013 6:44 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _no moron. carl sagan?? coolest guy in the history of ever? jeez. go to college and learn this stuff._

_August 28, 2013 6:45 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _I’ve been doing it for a year longer than you have. :|_

_August 28, 2013 6:46 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _i miss you too_

* * *

_December 25, 2014 5:42 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _we did not ask for a dog_

_December 25, 2014 5:43 PM_  
_from: Supey_

> _:)_

_December 25, 2014 5:40 PM_  
_from: Artemis_

> _IGNORE WALLY. HE’S AN IDIOT. AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!_

* * *

_April 9, 2015 3:28 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _You’re really going to leave?_

_April 9, 2015 3:49 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _it’s different now, con. tula’s dead. marie logan’s dead. kent nelson’s dead. i don’t want to have to say that word anymore._

_April 9, 2015 4:21 AM_  
_from: Supey_

> _Then you’re a coward._

_April 9, 2015 4:30 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _fuck you._

_April 9, 2015 4:35 AM_  
_from: Wally_

> _my parents finally took off that censor program. looks like it comes in handy._

* * *

_March 24, 2016 3:28 AM from: Wally_

> _you can come stay at my place tonight. i’m sorry, conner. i’m sorry for everything._

_March 24, 2016 3:30 AM_  
_from: Conner_

> _Thank you._

* * *

_April 9, 2016 10:32 PM_

_from: Conner_

> _Are you at home?_

_April 9, 2016 10:33 PM_  
_from: Wally_

> _yeah what’s up?_

_April 9, 2016 10:34 PM_  
_from: Conner_

> _I’m coming over. There’s something you need to know._


End file.
